the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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