I think i sorta joined a cult last night
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
