Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
