That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You dont lie about slip and slides
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
