I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
