is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
