no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
