How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
