We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
