im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize