Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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