i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
