drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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