its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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