I skipped work to stalk him.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
