in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
