remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize