It was confusing and full of hummus
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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