Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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