it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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