a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
