so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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