Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
