Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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