12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
