I want to have your abortion
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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