So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
