Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
