I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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