Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
