What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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