just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
