maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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