I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
How's work?
Spinning.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize