It's like God shit irony all over that family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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