i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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