After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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