me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Never underestimate the power of titties
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
