i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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