I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
