who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
