I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
