Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
