I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize