Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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