Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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