I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
