Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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