that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My breasts were aching with rage.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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