Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
