I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
This girl is more easily done than said...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
