I think my vagina is haunted
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
