I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
This baby is an asshole
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
