He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
