Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
