dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
