I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
