I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
