ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
