Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
