So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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